So, it's Thursday, which means I get tired, cranky, loopy, and all kinds of crazy because I teach these ridiculous 96 minute blocks four times. Today I did the following:
1. Called students witches. Made up lies about how they were pinching people and whispered Devil messages in my ear to demonstrate the hysteria of the Salem Witch Hunts.
2. Held up my hand with the fingers together and told a girl to "read between the lines." She had asked what it meant to make an inference.
3. When a group asked that their team name in the vocabulary game be "Bad Asses" I told them not to use inappropriate language and that I was making the editorial decision to change it to "Bad Butts". I then proceeded to draw a butt on the board next to their name. And then I made it smoke a cigarette so it would be "bad".
4. Told a girl she was too smart to read Nicholas Sparks books. When she protested because her mom reads them I just rolled my eyes.
5. When a student told me she was hot and asked if she could open the window I told her to take her menopause hot flashes elsewhere. It was a joke. I opened the window for her.
6. I gave Carlos the point in the vocabulary game even though it was really a tie. Someone said that I was playing favorites. I responded that of course I play favorites and Carlos is my favorite. They yelled "Not Fair!" to which I replied, "Silly kids, of course it's fair. Your parents have favorites, so why shouldn't I be allowed to." I asked the kids to raise their hands if they were their parents' favorite. Then I asked them to raise their hands if one of their siblings was thier parents' favorite. Then I asked the only children to raise their hands and said, "And you're not the favorite, are you? Sad."
I think it's time to go home and prepare my apologies for tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment