If We Can Just Get Through This Day, It'll All Be Okay

The title today is the mantra of my next door neighbor here on the fourth floor of Kennedy High School. And she's right, in a sense. Today is a day that brings relief. It's the last day of class before break. It's also a stopping point. When we come back from break, the new semester begins. Kids start fresh without their poor grades dragging them down. Classes get switched around a little and you have new faces in class to change the dynamics. The kids also grow up a little over break, and come back excited to see their friends and get back into a schedule again. Teachers often clean up their rooms and rearrange the desks. It's got almost all the hope of a new school year.

That said, these last few days before the break are both tender and horrific. The students wear Santa Hats and eat too much candy. They have so much excitement and often don't know what to do with it. They can also be emotional wrecks. Some dread the holidays because their families are a mess, or it reminds them that they don't have a mom or dad. One of my students had a look of panic about her. On Friday, her family is driving to Guadalajara, Mexico, and she's afraid that they'll be killed by drug dealers at the border. Another student has to spend the break with her father, whom she hates. Yet a third lost her mother around Christmas last year. It brings new meaning to the words "Happy Holidays".

But even the saddest and angriest students are the most tender around the holidays. The student you would least expect brings you a card. You get Snowman candles and chocolate covered cherries and Batman Pez and bookmarks...all with little notes, misspelled and written in marker. You'd think you taught elementary school, but these are high school kids and they've come to regard you as they would a parent or an aunt. They feel something for you and they want to express it. They are sad and happy at once. Even the kids who don't have very nice things done for them want to do something nice for you.

I'd like to package it up, this day. I could sell it, like a movie that makes you laugh and cry and feel better about the world. The holidays give my students a chance to open up, but it's scary what you see inside. There is a lot of pain in there. There is also a lot of hope.