One of the Hard Things About Teaching

Today is not going well. We're learning a lesson in fear and control and the power that one person can have over 1500 people in a school building. One of the hard things about teaching is helping students understand violence.

Yesterday a message was discovered in the boys' bathroom that was of the "I hate this school and everyone will be dead on March 14th" variety. Security and the police were brought in to investigate and determined that it was not a credible threat. Teachers were notified by the end of the school day of what happened and that there would increased security on campus today. Nothing was said to the students or sent home to their parents.

Of course, news travels fast and changes fast when traveling via text message, MySpace, and e-mails. At 9:00 PM I heard from the student I pick up in the morning. All her friends weren't going to school and she needed advice about what to do. She sounded really afraid, and this morning she confessed that she didn't sleep at all last night.

With half a dozen police toting weapons, teachers shutting and locking their doors each period, and only about a third of the student body here today, it feels a little like a war zone. And I am angry. I am mad at the student who thought he could control us with fear, and I am mad that he has succeeded. I am angry that our culture is one of violence and that schools...places that should represent security...are such easy targets for violence. I am frustrated that the day was a wash, but even more that so many kids are genuinely fearful of this place. I am sad that I too spent the morning thinking about what I was going to do if this thing was real.

I talked to my parents last night but I didn't tell either of them what was going on. Some kids who were here today hadn't told their parents either, and I can understand why.

But those who came all wanted to know: WHY? Why are we a society so plagued with violence? Why do we all feel so afraid? Why does feeling so controlled and scared feel so wrong? Why don't men with guns make us feel any better?

Today, I don't have the answers. That's one the hard things about teaching.